Zen Cavern News

"Wolves Are Magical" Stickers and T-Shirts Now Available via RedBubble

Fri, 01 Feb 2013 06:13:24 GMT

Little known fact: Wolves come from the rainbow-colored planet Lupos 5. They arrived on earth in a silver UFO eight trillion years ago and built the forests out of stardust and puppy kisses. Today they walk among us, protecting children's dreams and keeping our root beer nice and fizzy.

White shirts are $20.64 USD. Colored shirts are $23.52 (Prices subject to change).

"The Peddler" Nominated for a Logan Award

Fri, 01 Feb 2013 05:43:10 GMT

My Tetris meta-parody, "The Peddler: A Half-Assed Translation", has been nominated for a Logan Award for Outstanding Parody Song.

See the Full list of nominees.

"You Say Werewolf Like It's a Bad Thing" 2012 Version, Stickers and T-Shirts Now Available via RedBubble

Mon, 01 Oct 2012 19:52:53 GMT

The new "You Say Werewolf Like It's a Bad Thing" t-shirts are up at RedBubble.

Light Version
Dark Version

Show your friends the many upsides of lycanthropy: Night vision, superhuman strength, badass fangs, heightened senses of sight and hearing, and thick fluffy fur, just to name a few.

White shirts are $21.52 USD. Colored shirts are $24.54.

Meanwhile, the old design will still be available until October 14.

New Comedy Song: The Peddler: A Half-Assed Translation

Sun, 15 Jul 2012 08:49:24 GMT

I discovered a while back that the song which most of us know as the "Tetris Song" is actually based on a Russian folk tune called "Korobeiniki", or "The Peddler".

I decided it would be fun to translate it into English, despite not knowing any Russian or bothering to learn what the song was actually about.

"Grapefruit Teeth" Released

Mon, 18 Jun 2012 17:02:14 GMT

The album you've waited way too long for has finally arrived…actually, no, "Sgt. Pepper 2, Revenge of Mr. Kite" is still in development. But this is almost as good. "Grapefruit Teeth: A Compendium of Industrial Dixieland Tone Poems for Fiddle and Fire Hydrant, Chapter 1: Rise of the Hyena People" is an EP of several comedy songs that I, Kobi LaCroix, have written between 2009 and 2012. Virtually all the songs have been freshened up, having either been remastered, remixed, or completely rerecorded since their initial release. This is a superbly funny album, covering topics such as food, ninjas, hypnosis, hypermasculinity, and household cleaning products, with musical styles ranging from metal, to funk, to industrial, to a cappella. It's an album you'll want to share with all your friends, even if they're imaginary! So pick it up today! I guarantee you've never heard anything. Like it!

Er…I mean…you've never heard anything like it. Yeah.

Downloaderize it at kobilacroix.bandcamp.com.

Tracks are available in MP3, FLAC, and other formats.

Physical CDs will be available once we work out production and shipping costs.

"Grapefruit Teeth" Release Rescheduled for June 18

Sat, 16 Jun 2012 02:59:10 GMT

Due to the fact that a number of conventions are being held this weekend, I have decided to postpone the release of "Grapefruit Teeth" until Monday, June 18. This will also give me time to fine-tune any remaining issues and possibly add more material.

Thank you for your patience.

"Grapefruit Teeth" EP to be Released June 15

Sun, 10 Jun 2012 17:23:23 GMT

"Grapefruit Teeth: A Compendium of Industrial Dixieland Tone Poems for Fiddle and Fire Hydrant, Chapter 1: Rise of the Hyena People" is an EP of several comedy songs that I've written between 2009 and 2012. Many of the songs have either been remastered, remixed, or completely rerecorded since their initial release.

The EP will be released June 15 at kobilacroix.bandcamp.com. Digital downloads will be available in MP3, FLAC, and other formats.

More info to come.

New T-Shirt: Luchador Einstein!

Tue, 28 Feb 2012 01:59:26 GMT

¡SEÑORS Y SEÑORAS! NOW ENTERING THE RING, HAILING FROM WÜRTTEMBERG, GERMANY, THE KILLER THEORETICAL PHYSICIST WITH A PH.D. IN WHUPASS! HE'LL KNOCK YOU INTO NEXT TUESDAY, BUT ONLY IN ANOTHER PARALLEL DIMENSION WHERE TIME FLOWS AT A DIFFERENT RATE! ¡VIVA LA RELATIVIA! EL…..ALBERTO "A-BOMB" EINSTEINO!!!

A T-Shirt design, based on "Brutomax! The Sequel!" (NSFW)

Orange Glo

Tue, 18 Oct 2011 04:17:06 GMT

A parody of U2's "Vertigo", about a man who finds his apartment haunted by the spirit of late TV pitchman Billy Mays.
Better late than never, I suppose.

Nyanyanyanyanyanyanya, ELP Style

Tue, 21 Jun 2011 22:35:20 GMT

I heard the original song by daniwellP from this YouTube video, and I thought, "wouldn't this be cool if Emerson Lake and Palmer covered this song? Now, you're probably thinking one of two things: either "Who are Emerson Lake and Palmer?" or "OH JESUS GOD NO!!!"

Anyway, enjoy!

Kobi LaCroix Appears on "Weird Al" Tribute Album

Tue, 21 Jun 2011 22:10:28 GMT

"Twenty-Six and a Half", a musical tribute to "Weird Al" Yankovic, is now available for digital download. This album features acts such as The Great Luke Ski, Devo Spice, Steve Goodie, Worm Quartet, Insane Ian, TV's Kyle, Nuclear Bubble Wrap, and of course, me! This is a very well-put-together album by the who's-who of independent novelty music…and me.

From this FuMP post:

Proceeds from the album go to aid the Weird Al Star Fund and Make the Rock Hall Weird, organizations geared towards getting Al a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, and to get him inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame! (Proceeds also go to the artists, the producers, and Weird Al's publisher.)

There are many ways to buy this thing. Pick the one to your liking!
Physical CD (PayPal)
iTunes
B andCamp (digital download in any format you like)
CDBaby (digital download, physical CDs in stock soon)

You can stream all the songs for free on the Bandcamp page.

Plus: it's Weird Al approved!

This is my contribution: A cover of Weird Al's song, CNR:

CNR by Kobi LaCroix | Twenty-Six and a Half

New Original Song: We Are the Vikings

Thu, 23 Sep 2010 23:20:30 GMT

And thus begins a new chapter in the saga of whatever the hell I feel like shouting about. A new song, in the style I've sort of become famous for, the manly breed of Dementia…or should we say DeMANtia?…no, we shouldn't.

Anyway, here's a heavy metal tribute to literally the coolest people to ever live, as opposed to the crappy football team named after them.

By the way, if the Vikings end up going 0-16 because of this song, I apologize in advance. But if they win it all…GUESS WHO YOUR NEW GOD IS!!! (hint: me)